http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ Step Into The Light en Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:29:53 +0000 http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/sausage-joke#post-3410 Tue, 26 Sep 2006 10:23:02 +0000 helloU 3410@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ how do you get a sausage down a hill??<br /> <br /> <br /> ....push it!!! LMAO!!! oo i crack myself up!! http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/granny-with-a-machine-gun#post-3408 Thu, 30 Mar 2006 07:32:16 +0000 Murdo 3408@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ <a href="http://www.break.com/index/grannymachinegun.html">http://www.break.com/index/grannymachinegun.html</a> ...<br /> <br /> Enough said!<br /> <br /> (thanks Funkalicious...) http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/blodes-are-dumb#post-3406 Fri, 24 Mar 2006 22:23:34 +0000 GubWump 3406@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ a brunette is bouncing up and down in the middle of a rail road track saying, 35, 35, 35, 35, 35, 35, 35, 35, 35, 35...etc.<br /> <br /> a blonde walking along spots the brunette and askers her what she is doing.<br /> <br /> the brunette continues to say 35, 35, 35, 35 and bounce up and down in the middle of the rail road track.<br /> <br /> the blonde decides after a monents thinking that the brunette is having fun, so she stands behind the brunette and copies her.<br /> <br /> (for all you horny blokes out there this is the opportune moment to picture thier boobs bouncing up and down :D )<br /> <br /> about 10 minutes later a train comes down the track.<br /> <br /> the brunette steps off the rail road track.<br /> <br /> the blonde is enjoying herself too much and so she is run over by the train :( <br /> <br /> once the train has passed the brunette steps back onto the rail road track and continues to bounce up and down, however this thime she is saying 36, 36, 36, 36, 36, 36, 36,...etc. http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/army-joke#post-3405 Sat, 04 Feb 2006 17:24:22 +0000 Murdo 3405@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ In the army, Sarge' storms towards Private... <br /> <br /> Sarge: "<i>Why aren't your boots cleaned?</i>"<br /> Private:"You don't give a fuck... "<br /> Sarge:"<i>What do u mean I don't give a fuck...what kind of fucking anwser is that !?! WHY AREN*T YOUR BOOTS CLEANED???!!!!!</i>"<br /> Private: "I ran out of cleaning gel"<br /> Sarge: "<i>I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!!!!</i>"<br /> Private: "Told you... " http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/mgs-crab-battle#post-3402 Thu, 30 Jun 2005 05:37:27 +0000 Lim The Necromancer 3402@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ <a href="http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/239227">http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/239227</a><br /> <br /> Some may find it stupid I find it funny. Enjoy the pointless waste. http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/leave-it-to-bush#post-3395 Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:51:38 +0000 Lim The Necromancer 3395@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ <a href="http://gprime.net/flash.php/leaveittobush">http://gprime.net/flash.php/leaveittobush</a> <br /> <br /> This is funny but its a little nasty and weird so you are warned. People who actualy like George W Bush and or small furry animals should not watch this flash. Thanks. :D http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/il-tell-my-daddy#post-3394 Sun, 05 Jun 2005 20:23:15 +0000 ketsk310 3394@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ "Class dismissed!" the teacher yelled but little Johnny doesn't go.<br /> He walks to the teachers desk and says, "Teacher can i go home with you?"<br /> The teacher says "No!"<br /> Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." <br /> So the teacher says, "Okay."<br /> They get to the teachers house and she says, "Well i'm going to take a quick shower, you sit right here."<br /> "Can i take a shower with you?" he asks.<br /> The teacher says "No!"<br /> Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." <br /> So the teacher says, "Well okay, I guess." <br /> So their in the shower and little Johnny says, "Can i turn off the lights?"<br /> The teacher says "No!"<br /> Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." <br /> So the teacher says, "Okay."<br /> So the lights are off and little Johnny says, "Can i stick my finger in your belly button?"<br /> The teacher says "No!"<br /> Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy." <br /> "Well okay." says the teacher, "JOHNNY!, that's not my belly-button!"<br /> "Yeah? and that's not my finger eather!" http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/lil-johnny#post-3392 Wed, 25 May 2005 21:40:43 +0000 ketsk310 3392@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ Little Johnny and his father were walking down the street one day, and two ladies bumped into one another in front of them. <br /> The one lady looked at the other and slapped her across the face. "You bitch," yelled the one lady.<br /> Stunned, the lady that was slapped yelled out, "You bag." <br /> Little Johnny, never heard those words before, turns to his dad. "Dad, what are bags and bitches?"<br /> "Oh, that's just another name for women," replied his dad.<br /> "Oh, okay," said Johnny. <br /> The two make it home and Little Johnny follows his dad up to the bathroom to watch his daddy shave. <br /> While shaving, Little Johnny's dad cuts himself. "Oh shit," he said.<br /> "Daddy, what's shit?" asked Little Johnny.<br /> "Oh, that's just another name for shaving your self," replied his father.<br /> Bored, Little Johnny wanders downstairs to find his mother cooking a turkey. As his mother reached into the oven, she burnt her hand. "Fuck!" she yells. <br /> "Mom, what's fuck?" questionned Johnny.<br /> "That's just another word for cooking the turkey."<br /> "Oh, I get it," said Johnny. <br /> All of a sudden, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!" yells Johnny as he runs to the door. He then opened the door to find a group of old ladies standing outside.<br /> "Hello young man. Are you parents home?" asked the front lady.<br /> "Hello bags and bitches. My dad's upstairs shitting himself and my mom's downstairs fucking the turkey." http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/pig-in-space#post-3391 Thu, 07 Apr 2005 22:45:21 +0000 jokes123 3391@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ <a href="http://www.flash-jokes.com/hot_jokes/pigs-space.htm">http://www.flash-jokes.com/hot_jokes/pigs-space.htm</a>:D <br /> ____________________<br /> <a href="http://www.flash-jokes.com">http://www.flash-jokes.com</a> :eek: http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/black-jokes#post-3385 Sat, 19 Mar 2005 22:48:45 +0000 MountNoobz 3385@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ PLease dont take this offencively a black friend of mine told me this<br /> <br /> Q)What are the 5 most common words told to a black man in a 3 Piece Suite.<br /> A) Will the Defendant Please Rise http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/jay-leno-funniest-date-story#post-3379 Fri, 12 Nov 2004 12:58:52 +0000 Matrix223 3379@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not! <br /> We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake. <br /> <br /> This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays . This <br /> was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the <br /> audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman <br /> ever had. <br /> <br /> The winner, Marilyn, described her worst first date experience. <br /> There's absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! <br /> <br /> Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and <br /> the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip <br /> (no overnight). No, not Marilyn. They were strangers, after all, <br /> and truly had never met before. <br /> <br /> The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were <br /> headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the <br /> mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not <br /> have had that extra latte. <br /> <br /> They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and <br /> in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold <br /> it, which she did for awhile. <br /> <br /> Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there <br /> came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let <br /> her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. <br /> <br /> They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked <br /> her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she <br /> didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the <br /> rear fender to steady herself. <br /> <br /> Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic <br /> and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. <br /> <br /> All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the <br /> rather embarrassing nature of the situation. <br /> <br /> Upon finishing however, she soon became! aware of another <br /> sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady <br /> discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. <br /> <br /> Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to <br /> mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. <br /> It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to <br /> the extreme cold. <br /> <br /> Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered <br /> her date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply <br /> that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some <br /> assistance"! <br /> <br /> He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her <br /> sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he <br /> burst out laughing. <br /> <br /> She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose <br /> themselves, they assessed her dilemma. <br /> <br /> Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were <br /> faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something <br /> hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! <br /> <br /> Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the <br /> first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to <br /> get her free. <br /> <br /> So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to <br /> unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. <br /> <br /> As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down... or <br /> perhaps that should be "pants down." <br /> <br /> And you thought your first date was embarrassing. <br /> <br /> Jay Leno's comment: This gives a whole new meaning to being <br /> "pissed off". http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/blondes#post-3358 Tue, 19 Oct 2004 04:59:25 +0000 hawkeye 3358@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ Three women, 1 blonde, 1 brunette and a red head where running from the police.<br /> They ran into a shed and hid in some sacks just in time as the cops followed them in.<br /> The policeman went to the first sack and kicked it, the brunette shouted "Woof" oh its just a dog said the cop.<br /> He then kicked the second sack "meow" shouted the redhead, oh its just a cat said the cop<br /> He went to the third sack which had the blonde inside, kicked it hard and in an irish accent the blonde shouted "potato" http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/chinese-proverbs-list#post-3349 Wed, 30 Jun 2004 00:19:28 +0000 Matrix223 3349@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ Chinese Proverbs...otherwise known as the "Confucius" sayings:<br /> <br /> Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone. <br /> <br /> Man who run in front of car get tired. <br /> <br /> Man who run behind car get exhausted. <br /> <br /> Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. <br /> <br /> Man with one chopstick go hungry. <br /> <br /> Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. <br /> <br /> Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. <br /> <br /> Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. <br /> <br /> Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth. <br /> <br /> War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. <br /> <br /> Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. <br /> <br /> Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. <br /> <br /> It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. <br /> <br /> Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. <br /> <br /> Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. <br /> <br /> Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. <br /> <br /> Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. <br /> <br /> Man who fart in church sit in own pew. <br /> <br /> Crowded elevator smell different to midget. http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/assorted-short-jokes#post-3337 Mon, 28 Jun 2004 13:34:44 +0000 ImTheDarkcyde 3337@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ Q: what happened to the peanut strolling through the park<br /> A: He was assaulted!<br /> <br /> Q: how does a crazy man get through the forest<br /> A: he takes the psycopath<br /> <br /> <br /> An protron says to a neutron, "I think i lost my car keys!", and the protron says "are you sure?", and gets the response "Im positive".<br /> <br /> <br /> feel free to post more http://gamegate2k.com/forums/topic/taking-tests#post-3331 Sat, 01 May 2004 08:03:37 +0000 Matrix223 3331@http://gamegate2k.com/forums/ Fav one I've heard in a while:<br /> <br /> A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's <br /> final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up <br /> tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family <br /> member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme <br /> sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter. <br /> After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student,<br /> and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write.